Y por qué fumas?

Porque me recuerda a alguien

A la primera vez

Me refiero a la que fumé

Pero también

A la que lo besé

O que él me besó

El humo traspasó

Sus labios conectó

A los míos

Que desde hace tanto

No sentían eso

Y me supo a sexo

Me supo a ganas

Y un poco de desesperación

Mas mía que de él

Esa primera vez

Que paso todo al revés

Que primero fumé

Luego lo besé

Lo toqué

Y de último me enamoré



DSC_0008 2

It’s that time of the year again.

In the story of you and I,

spring has always been the season

of me falling back.

Back in love with you,

back in lust with you,

back at missing you.

Hard habits are hard to die,

but mines seem to be the hardest ones.

Winter is far gone.

And as the last colds fade away,

my year resolutions seem to do as well.

It’s that time of the year again.

In the story of you and I,

this sick pattern of mine

keeps coming back.

Back in love with you,

back in lust with you,

back at missing you.

If winter is when I grow apart,

then spring is when I fall back.

Back in love with you,

back in lust with you,

back at missing you.

I never expected him.




I met him at the beginning of my second year in college. I was majoring in architecture, and he was majoring in electrical engineering. At the time, my dear friend Val had a boyfriend named Andrew, and he was one of his closest friends, so it was Andrew who introduced us. Our first meeting happened in the first week of the Fall Term 2011 at a popular bar among students. We drunk several beers, we talked about our summer, and we enjoyed a good time in the company of friends; however, there was hardly any interaction between the two of us. When it was time to leave all he and I said to one another during the evening was “Hi, pleased to meet you” and “Bye, it was a pleasure.” It was clear that neither he nor I blinked in the direction of the other, though later that night; I received a text from Val claiming he liked me. My conclusion was that the guy must be crazy because there was no way he could like me when we barely acknowledge each other in the entire time we were at the bar.

After that first meeting I didn’t saw him again for more than two months, but in that time my friend Val and her boyfriend assured me again and again that he had a keen interest in starting a “thing” with me. It never really matters what he wanted, though, because I had no interest in becoming anybody’s girlfriend.

At that time of my life and during the year that had passed I had experienced a lot of changes and was still adapting. I’d lost forty pounds. I’d moved out of my parents’ big house in a small town, and then I’d moved into a small apartment with a total stranger in a big city. I’d had to learn the hard way that being in college was no place close to being in high school. And also, I had to nurse a broken heart and get over my high school boyfriend who chose to stay at home. After that hard break up, I realized how much I let that relationship absorb me and how much I had grown apart from most of my closest friends. I understood that I needed to do something to fix my predicament; I needed to move on and to learn how to be myself. For that reason, I decided that it was time for me to start going out more frequently, to meet as many people as I could and to date casually. It was a year of growth during which I lived great experiences that allowed me to become a more confident girl, more independent and more outgoing, although I still felt like I needed more time for myself because some parts of me hadn’t healed yet.

But that’s the thing about life; life won’t wait for you to be ready, in fact, life won’t care if you are ready because life is unexpected.

Some things in life are just inevitable and out of your control, and so it was inevitable for me to meet him again because we had too many friends in common, as well as it was out of my control how quickly I started to like him. It happened on an exceptional day. The eleventh day of the eleventh month of the year 2011 (there is something special about that). The day our National Soccer Team positioned itself as the first runner-up in the South American division to go to the FIFA World Cup for the first time in history (although it was a happiness short lived because they didn’t make it at the end of the classification process). The day of the first big college party of the term with an open bar (super special indeed and by the way, the age to drink legally in my country is eighteen). And last, but not least, the day of his twentieth birthday.

So now, let me tell you something about college parties; there is something extraordinary about them. Whether it is the anticipation of the moment; of choosing your best outfit, making your hair while thinking how amazing you are going to look for the night. Or maybe, just the excitement of having a party and enjoy when you are finally at the place. Not because of the alcohol or whatever other stuff people might think they need to have a real time, but because of being around your peers and equals dancing, laughing and making a fool of yourself for the sake of being young and alive. And so it was how I felt that night. I did my hair and make-up, I dressed up with my favorite black top and my fabulous animal print skirt, I slip on my well used black heels, and I finished to get ready for a good night of being young and alive.

In all truth, I must admit I was pretty excited about meeting him again too. The fact was that I believed he was crazy about me thanks to Val reassuring me for more than two months. It burst my ego, and it made me feel good about myself. It made me wanna flirt with him just for the thrill of it, although I didn’t have any real interest in him.

But as always, life won’t turn out the way you expect it, and so I got a great surprise when I finally met him face to face.

I arrived at the party convinced that a subservient boy who would be at my beck and call for all the night was waiting for me, but how wrong I was. I can still remember it as if it happened yesterday, the moment I finally saw him, and the realization hit me that he wasn’t at all how I remembered. I didn’t expect he would look so good; wearing a fitted blue and white stripped bottom down shirt with its sleeves rolled up making his biceps stood out, and a pair of skinny black jeans that hugged his muscular thighs like nobody’s business. I didn’t expect either how confident he was and how gracefully he could move in such a crowded space regardless of his six point two feet height, or how bright his smile would look in contrast with his delicious milk chocolate skin. Also, I didn’t expect how attracted I would feel towards him and most of all; I didn’t expect that he would ignore me completely.

It only took him a second to level the playground between us, when he was standing ten feet away from me, and he deliberately ignored me after making eye contact. Then, he ignored me a second time when I waved my hand to say “hi,” and he turned around. Then a third time when I tapped on his shoulder, and finally, a fourth time when I just lost it and shouted out his name. When he finally turned around, he looked down at me with a full teeth smile and laugh reflected in his eyes. He was making fun of me all along, and he wanted me to know it. It was so unexpected the way he treated me, but what was more unexpected was my reaction to all of it. I laughed. I laughed at the ridiculous situation, and at him, and more importantly, at me. For the first time in a long while; I was able to relax and wind down. In the span of a moment he helped me fix some of those things that haven’t healed in over a year, and so a moment was how long it took for me to start liking him. From that time on, I stop overthinking; I let it all roll its natural course.

I started to embrace it all. I began to embrace what I never expected.


Hopefully, you just finished reading my first post, so I’m very excited to hear your thoughts and reactions. I hope you enjoyed the short story and that you keep coming back to read more of my little work.